moonlandingwasfaked:

cmder:

plantwiitch:

cmder:

i don’t post. i secrete.

Good secretion op

bmgmw:

lipoils:

*survives another year*

eclogues:

existential-bird:

eclogues:

if we all marry and divorce jeff bezo we can singlehandedly distribute all of his wealth

do you understand what singlehandedly means?

no. do u smoke weed?

theshitneyspears:

me before I nut: I can’t wait to do all these awful things to you
him: and then?
me after I nut:

higgzorz:

i wish soulja boy would walk into my house and crank dat, killing me instantly

gaystation-4:

when everyone else is enjoying an audio post that tumblr won’t let you play

aokileaf:

astroboyomegafactor:

*gives u one of these*

Thank you

oddmoderator:

chchchcheckitouttt:

nerdyteaparty:

snorlaxatives:

happy annoy squidward day

Actually, Annoy Squidward Day is January 15th. Although the calendar doesn’t have the month written on it, if you continue to watch the episode, they’re competing for January’s Employee of the Month.

I’ve been waiting all year to reblog this

amazing-prussia:

My brain when I read a math problem

bambi-blossom:

jehovahhthickness:

This is what I’ve been saying.

dragonwives:

dragonwives:

me n my siblings used to cover each other in stuffed animals pillows and blankets and jump on each other from the top of the stairs and idk how we never got injured

glad to know all kids have always been rascals and rapscallions

aelita15:

toolmutual:

interrogation scene in a movey where the guy refuses to cooperate and he’s like “fuck you” and spits blood and the people interrogating him are like “what the fuck. nobody’s even hit you yet. where did you get all that blood from”

i think that’d be funny

“Dude are you ok”

alolanawkword:

squirtle-daddy:

No, Bryan, I’m not a top because of internalized homophobia. I’m a top because of internalized hemorrhoids.

Thanks.